isjesusback.com provides one service: an SMS alert if and when Jesus Christ returns to Earth. That's it. No more, no less. We don't do horoscopes, tarot, or weather forecasts.
$0.99 per month. Billed monthly. No hidden fees, no upsells, no premium tiers. Everyone gets the same alert at the same time. Equality before the Lord.
You can cancel anytime. We'll stop monitoring on your behalf immediately. What happens after that is between you and your conscience.
If Jesus comes back and you're not satisfied with the alert, contact us. For all other cases, the absence of an alert means the service is working perfectly.
We are not responsible for what happens after the alert is sent. Spiritual preparedness is your own responsibility. We just handle the notification part.
We guarantee 99.97% uptime. The 0.03% accounts for the brief period in 33 AD when our legacy systems went offline for three days.
These terms are governed by the laws of the State of Delaware, and, when applicable, a higher authority.